So I'm finally at NYU, my last pick for college, but, surprisingly a choice that had surpassed the expectations that I even had for my #1 school. The people here are friendly, cool, and crazy (mentally insane- seriously). Before I entered into college I imagined myself to be walking down the halls of the Metropolitan Museum, Moma, Gugenheim, The Museum of Sex etc. looking at the paintings, expanding my mind, getting better acquainted with artsy people, and looking somewhat smart. But, for the strangest reason I find myself at clubs grinding with random ppl, the cloister cafe spending $8 on watered down vodka shots, and outside during the nights trying to woo (yes i said woo) the opposite sex. I've had urges. Think of anything you're imaginations will let you think of for a sec. But, urges to actually be learned. I want to study Russian history, and know everything about Ivan the terrible, and Catherine the Great, who apparently died from having sex with a horse (it's not true, but, it would've been cool if it was), I want to be able to write beautiful essays, prose, poetry that could match Shakespeare in imagery and Orwell in wit, I want to speak a language more fluently than a native have vocabulary that match a scholar of that language. Well, nothing turns out the way you want it ( most of the time, at least). It seems that I am turned at every corner to my parth with a concern for my image among my fellow mates. It seems I still have the necessity to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, and hang out a certain way to maintain the social status that I desire.
As I write this blog, i come upon the realization that I just suck at balancing my educational, personal, and social life. And i suck at just saying no to certain things. Or just saying no in general. I'm gonna have to start stepping up to the plate and doing the things that I said that I was going to do. I'm young, I've got heart, and I seem to be talking more than I'm walking. So let's live as each day were the last. (I'm talking to myself) I guess I'm inspiring myself as I write this, but yea, let's try and change! or not.... we'll have to see.
-Superman
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2 comments:
I am leaving this comment so you can invite me, but also to offer my support. You'll get better at college, I promise. I have faith in you.
I like your post. So touching. :0
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